MEN'S CURE

Nearly everyone wants more sex—men and women. So why isn’t it happening more often?

There are hundreds of reasons. But Men’s Health surveyed 1,000 women and combed through the latest research to narrow down the list to the ones you see on the left.

You’ll find most of the constraints of modern society—time demands, distractions, stress, energy levels.

Recognize any from your life? Click on them and find out how you and your partner can overcome those obstacles—and get back to having more fun!

Endless Bickering

Fighting over serious issues is normal, but bickering can cramp your sex life, says Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D., author of Great Sex for Moms. Unless compromise is easy, “it’s often better to put minor disputes aside,” she says. “You shouldn’t talk over everything endlessly.” In our survey, the most trivial quarrels were about the house. Avoid them by playing to each other’s strengths. Then divvy up the decisions accordingly.

A Houseful of Kids

If tantrums and diapers are polluting your passion, ditch the kids (for a night). “It’s all about creating opportunity,” Dr. Raskin says. “Spontaneity is enviable, but planned sex can be great, too.” Particularly if you’re not getting enough. You know that couple next door? They’re probably in a similar situation, so propose a kid swap. You take theirs on Friday, they take yours on Saturday. If the neighbors are freaks, go home when the kids aren’t: lunchtime. Nearly 40 percent of women would be willing to get busy at noon.

Late-Night TV

Here’s a disturbing set of statistics: Italian researchers found that people with a TV in the bedroom have half as much sex as those who don’t. And yet, 64 percent of couples keep a set in the boudoir. Try getting rid of it. John Stewart won’t mind.

“Getting it on is about putting the brain and body in a passionate state—TV does the opposite,” says Heidi Raykeil, author of Confessions of a Naughty Mommy. Can’t quit? Buy a DVR and watch your favorite shows on weekends.

Conflicting Schedules

Sixty-hour workweeks plus social plans can leave her too tired to tangle. But pumping up the passion at the beginning of your week sets the tone for days to come. If you’re both schedule-driven types, start inserting gym time into your Outlook calendar.

Go to the gym together on Monday or Tuesday: Studies show both sexes experience a surge of libido-boosting testosterone 30 minutes after a workout. Shower and then hit the bedroom. “It’ll zap stress and the sexual momentum will last through the weekend,” says Michael Breus, Ph.D., author of Good Night.

Or start reserving a tennis or racquetball court. Men who play sports increase testosterone levels by 15 percent, according to a Pennsylvania State University study. It’s even better if she is your steady doubles partner (or opponent). The same study showed that women increased their libido-regulating testosterone by 49 percent during competition.

An Extra Slice of Pie

Romantic dinners are nice. But hoovering down that romantic dinner can backfire. Share an entrée to eat less and spark a passionate interaction, says Bunny Crumpacker, author of The Sex Life of Food.

“Choosing a meal together and sharing the dish can boost your sense of cooperation,” she says. Your best bet: Whip up a dish at home—66 percent of the women we surveyed said they’d be more likely to have sex after a home-cooked meal.

Job Stress

This one cuts both ways. Too much stress can be as deflating to a sex life as a litter of puppies in the bedroom. If that’s the case, there’s little you can do at home to fix matters—the change has to come at work. If your work is hindering your sex life, it’s probably affecting your health, too. So have that talk with your boss to clear the air, change your duties, and see if you can free up some hours and some brain space that will revive your love life.

But ironically, a stressful job (or even a dangerous one) involving some level of competition, as in law or sales, can actually improve it. “Real competition can drive up testosterone, which boosts libido,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love.

“Being amped up by a high-powered, high-stress job is more likely to make you more sexually active” than idling in a cushy, low-key career.

Boredom in Bed

A Kinsey Institute study found that nearly one-quarter of women reported some distress in their sexual relationships in the preceding month. One of the most common causes of dissatisfaction: boredom.

“The common denominator of satisfied couples is that they’re very playful,” says sex therapist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex. “My definition of sex is adult play. It should be fun and recreational. You should laugh and release all those pleasure endorphins. A sense of humor is an essential ingredient in great sex because it takes pressure off performance.”

Toys = instant play. Shop together at a toy store (the kids’ kind) for playthings you can bring into the bedroom. Imagine the possibilities with washable paint, masks, water pistols, and toy handcuffs. Or go to babeland.com for the real deal.

Stuck in a Routine

The average man’s sex life stays the same or even improves once he ties the knot. To ensure this outcome, do what good pitchers do—throw changeups into your nightlife at least once a week.

“Novelty is good for sex, and I don’t just mean novel sex. Novelty in your social life,” Fisher says. It can be as simple as skipping dinner to play miniature golf or listening to a live band instead of the car radio.

Anything that makes the start of your evening less predictable can change up the ending, as well.

Her Body Image

The way a woman feels about her body correlates with how inhibited she feels in bed. Sure, complimenting her shoes validates her taste, and saying something about her eyes reinforces her beauty.

But praising her most guarded body parts—butt, thighs, waist—may be more important to your sexual satisfaction. “Women spend their lives trying to look good for men,” Fisher says. “So a woman who feels she’s sending the right visual signals is pleased with herself.”

The surprising part: The very best time for a “nice ass” shout-out is when there’s absolutely no chance that you’ll be having sex soon, like before you walk into her parents’ house for Sunday brunch. “It’s a gift to compliment her outside of the bedroom,” says Fisher. Praising her body at times other than when there’s a bulge in your pants reinforces your sincerity.

Speaking of body image, men, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Maybe that’s part of the problem. A weight-loss and workout program like our Belly Off! system could be just what you (or both of you) need.

Her Wardrobe

A long flannel nightgown is a clear message that she’s not ready for sex. But buying her an uncomfortable lace teddy isn’t going to change her mind—especially if she has body-image issues (see No. 9).

The key here: make her comfortable. Start slowly: Buy her a pair of flannel boxers and a cotton tank top. She feels the comfort; you see some skin.

As for you, maybe it’s time to retire the ripped Megadeth T-shirt. Get some plain dark-colored T’s, switch to boxer briefs, and see what happens. Attention to your own appearance sends a positive signal.

Source: Men’s Health

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Here’s a few simple tips on how to correctly put on, use, and dispose of a condom. Don’t make any mistake or? – See video below…..

Check the expiration date.

Make sure it was not stored in a warm environment or near sharp objects.

Use your fingers to push the condom to the opposite side of the package so it will not tear when you open the wrapper.

Remove the condom from the wrapper and pinch the tip between your fingers to prevent any air from getting in the tip.

For extra comfort and enjoyment, place a drop of water-based lubricant at the tip of the condom and on the penis.

Make sure the penis is erect.

While pinching the tip of the condom between your fingers, hold it at the tip of the penis and begin unrolling it down the shaft.

Make sure the rolled-up part of the condom is on the outside.

If the condom rolls back up toward the head of the penis during sex, roll it back down immediately.

If it slips completely off, do not put it back on. Instead, put on a new condom.

After ejaculation, hold the base of the condom while withdrawing from your partner to prevent the condom from slipping off.

Make sure to keep the condom and your penis from touching your partner’s body.

Wrap the used condom in tissue and toss it in the garbage.

Do not flush it down the toilet.

Proper condom use means no penetration without it.

Never reuse a condom.

If you’re having sex drive problems, check your medicine cabinet. Several varieties of prescription medication can drove away your desire.

1. Birth Control

Some hormonal birth control medicine such as pills and patches can increase women’s levels of sex-hormone-binding globulin (SHBG), which drops the amount of testosterone that’s floating around freely in the bloodstream.

2. Antidepressants

Selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Prozac are supposed to cheer you up, but they can interfere with one potential source of happiness: sexual pleasure. Some doctors will keep the SSRI but add Wellbutrin, which increases dopamine and acts as an “antidote to the SSRIs,”. For others, a doctor might switch the patient to Wellbutrin and cut the SSRI.

Everyone’s body reacts differently to drugs, however, and for some, depression itself is more of a sex drive dampener than the SSRIs are.

3. Diabetes Drugs

Both diabetes and the medicine used to treat it can diminish desire, arousal, and orgasm. And those changes, in turn, can affect sexual interest.

What if you need the medicine?

Sometimes simply switching to another type of medicine, or even a different formulation of the same medicine, can solve the sex drive side effect. But if it does not, and you need the medication, and your regular provider isn’t coming up with any new ideas, don’t despair. Go see a sexual medicine expert who can work with the physician prescribing the medicine to figure out other strategies.

If you’re looking for the G-spot, you should know that this famous spot is a small area behind the pubic bone and surrounding the urethra. This little area is highly sensitive and the source of much sexual pleasure for some women, as the penis going inside the vagina rubs against the G-spot. In order to stimulate the G-Spot, men should position their penis for a thrust that is opposite to clitoris stimulation. A penis that curves upward has the perfect shape to strike the vagina wall in the area around the G-Spot, while men with downward curvatures may want to try the doggy style.

And now let’s move on to the practical part of the talk around the G-spot. I’m sure that you are eager to get right down to it and get your hands (or at least a finger) on the little bugger. Some men see this as a challenge and as something of a duty because they think it their duty to give their ladies the best possible orgasms. And that simply has to include a bull’s eye hit on the G-spot during every sex session. Stimulation of the G-Spot has also seen heavy use at the hands of sex experts who promote it as a bonus for happy couples and a true miracle for men who fail to please their ladies.

One of the things you want to keep an eye on is your lady’s reaction. As you get closer to the spot, she might instinctively pull back to avoid the direct stimulation of that sensitive spot. This could get you off the course and searching in the wrong area. You also want to begin the search only after your partner has been properly aroused. You could even wait until she had an orgasm and take it from there. The more aroused the woman, the more likely she is to feel the difference in sensation between the G-spot and the rest of the vaginal wall. Apply firm pressure and watch your lady’s reactions. She will guide you to the target.

The G-Spot can also be stimulated using the finger or tongue. It would require a 1 to 3-inch penetration of the vagina. No exact distance can be given since it varies from one woman to another. Experts found that changes in tissue structure occurring beyond the age of 30 make the G-Spot easier to reach. This is why some women in their thirties believe they are experiencing their sexual peak. The fingers are your best bet anytime, but there are also specially designed vibrators that can be used for stimulation. However, it is preferable to find the G-spot first with your fingers and then start poking around with the vibrator.

And finally, don’t be depressed if you failed to find it on the first try. Just think that you get more than one chance to finger your lady at will. Work on it and you will discover the G-spot sooner or later. On the other hand, if your lady simply lacks the higher sensitivity in that particular area, then that’s that. Don’t despair; there are other ways of dealing with the situation. You can always rely on the clitoris, the only organ dedicated exclusively to sexual pleasure, to get your lady over the edge and put a smile on her face.