If not Doritos and double bock, then what? We decided to delve deep into the human anatomy to find the secret spot on every muscle where the word “ingredients” is stamped. With the help of Jeff Volek, Ph.D., R.D., an exercise and nutrition researcher at the University of Connecticut, and a really big magnifying glass, we found it. Eight foods are on the list: eggs, almonds, olive oil, salmon, steak, yogurt, water, and coffee. Add these ingredients to your stomach and faithfully follow the directions on the package—”Lift heavy weights”—and you can whip up a batch of biceps in no time.

Eggs: The Perfect Protein

How they build muscle: Not from being hurled by the dozen at your boss’s house. The protein in eggs has the highest biological value—a measure of how well it supports your body’s protein needs—of any food, including our beloved beef. “Calorie for calorie, you need less protein from eggs than you do from other sources to achieve the same muscle-building benefits,” says Volek.

But you have to eat the yolk. In addition to protein, it also contains vitamin B12, which is necessary for fat breakdown and muscle contraction. (And no, eating a few eggs a day won’t increase your risk of heart disease.)

How they keep you healthy: Eggs are vitamins and minerals over easy; they’re packed with riboflavin, folate, vitamins B6, B12, D, and E, and iron, phosphorus, and zinc.

Almonds: Muscle Medicine

How they build muscle: Crunch for crunch, almonds are one of the best sources of alpha-tocopherol vitamin E—the form that’s best absorbed by your body. That matters to your muscles because “vitamin E is a potent antioxidant that can help prevent free-radical damage after heavy workouts,” says Volek. And the fewer hits taken from free radicals, the faster your muscles will recover from a workout and start growing.

How many almonds should you munch? Two handfuls a day should do it. A Toronto University study found that men can eat this amount daily without gaining any weight.

How they keep you healthy: Almonds double as brain insurance. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that those men who consumed the most vitamin E—from food sources, not supplements—had a 67 percent lower risk of Alzheimer’s disease than those eating the least vitamin E.

Salmon: The Growth Regulator

How it builds muscle: It’s swimming with high-quality protein and omega-3 fatty acids. “Omega-3′s can decrease muscle-protein breakdown after your workout, improving recovery,” says Tom Incledon, R.D., a nutritionist with Human Performance Specialists. This is important, because to build muscle you need to store new protein faster than your body breaks down the old stuff.

How it keeps you healthy: By reducing your risk of heart disease and diabetes. Researchers at Louisiana State University found that when overweight people added 1.8 grams of DHA—an omega-3 fatty acid in fish oil—to their daily diets, their insulin resistance decreased by 70 percent in 12 weeks.

Yogurt: The Golden Ratio

How it builds muscle: Even with the aura of estrogen surrounding it, “yogurt is an ideal combination of protein and carbohydrates for exercise recovery and muscle growth,” says Doug Kalman, R.D., director of nutrition at Miami Research Associates.

Buy regular—not sugar-free—with fruit buried at the bottom. The extra carbohydrates from the fruit will boost your blood levels of insulin, one of the keys to reducing postexercise protein breakdown.

How it keeps you healthy: Three letters: CLA. “Yogurt is one of the few foods that contain conjugated linoleic acid, a special type of fat shown in some studies to reduce body fat,” says Volek.

Beef: Carvable Creatine

How it builds muscle: More than just a piece of charbroiled protein, “beef is also a major source of iron and zinc, two crucial muscle-building nutrients,” says Incledon. Plus, it’s the number-one food source of creatine—your body’s energy supply for pumping iron—2 grams for every 16 ounces.

For maximum muscle with minimum calories, look for “rounds” or “loins”—butcherspeak for meat cuts that are extra-lean. Or check out the new “flat iron” cut. It’s very lean and the second most tender cut of beef overall.

How it keeps you healthy: Beef is a storehouse for selenium. Stanford University researchers found that men with low blood levels of the mineral are as much as five times more likely to develop prostate cancer than those with normal levels.

Olive Oil: Liquid Energy

How it builds muscle: Sure, you could oil up your chest and arms and strike a pose, but it works better if you eat the stuff. “The monounsaturated fat in olive oil appears to act as an anticatabolicnutrient,” says Kalman. In other words, it prevents muscle breakdown by lowering levels of a sinister cellular protein called tumor necrosis factor-a, which is linked with muscle wasting and weakness (kind of like watching The View).

And while all olive oil is high in monos, try to use the extra-virgin variety whenever possible; it has a higher level of free-radical-fighting vitamin E than the less chaste stuff.

How it keeps you healthy: How doesn’t it? Olive oil and monounsaturated fats have been associated with everything from lower rates of heart disease and colon cancer to a reduced risk of diabetes and osteoporosis.

Water: The Muscle Bath

How it builds muscle: Whether it’s in your shins or your shoulders, muscle is approximately 80 percent water. “Even a change of as little as 1 percent in body water can impair exercise performance and adversely affect recovery,” says Volek. For example, a 1997 German study found that protein synthesis occurs at a higher rate in muscle cells that are well hydrated, compared with dehydrated cells. English translation: The more parched you are, the slower your body uses protein to build muscle.

Not sure how dry you are? “Weigh yourself before and after each exercise session. Then drink 24 ounces of water for every pound lost,” says Larry Kenney, Ph.D., a physiology researcher at Pennsylvania State University.

How it keeps you healthy: Researchers at Loma Linda University found that men who drank five or more 8-ounce glasses of water a day were 54 percent less likely to suffer a fatal heart attack than those who drank two or fewer.

Coffee: The Repetition Builder

How it builds muscle: Fueling your workout with caffeine will help you lift longer. A recent study published in Medicine and Science in Sports and Exercise found that men who drank 2 1/2 cups of coffee a few hours before an exercise test were able to sprint 9 percent longer than when they didn’t drink any. (It’s believed the caffeine directly stimulates the muscles.)

And since sprinting and weight lifting are both anaerobic activities—exercises that don’t require oxygen—a jolt of joe should help you pump out more reps. Skip it if you have a history of high blood pressure, though.

How it keeps you healthy: By saving you from Michael J. Fox’s fate. Harvard researchers found that coffee drinkers have a 30 percent lower risk of Parkinson’s disease than nondrinkers.

Source: Men’s Health

1. Increase Your Pay
A Virginia Commonwealth University study found that married men earn 22 percent more than their similarly experienced but single colleagues.

2. Speed Up Your Next Promotion
Married men receive higher performance ratings and faster promotions than bachelors, a 2005 study of U.S. Navy officers reported.

3. Keep You Out of Trouble
According to a recent U.S. Department of Justice report, male victims of violent crime are nearly four times more likely to be single than married.

4. Satisfy You in Bed
In 2006, British researchers reviewed the sexual habits of men in 38 countries and found that in every country, married men have more sex.

5. Help You Beat Cancer
In a Norwegian study, divorced and never-married male cancer patients had 11 and 16 percent higher mortality rates, respectively, than married men.

6. Help You Live Longer
A UCLA study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the 8-year study period if they were single.

Source: Men’s Health

To have a rich, full, naked relationship with one of us, you have to participate in this sort of chatter. And that can be a problem. “She’s doing something she’s done throughout her life and feels good at,” says Deborah Tannen, Ph.D., whose book You Just Don’t Understand unlocks the mysteries of male-female communication. “He hasn’t done much of it, doesn’t particularly enjoy it, and feels it’s not his game.” So you try your best—asking good questions, giving solid answers, and making her laugh. But there are a few difficult conversations that men, try as they might, tend to screw up.

That’s about to change. Here is your guide to the six trickiest relationship talks. “Each of these, if handled correctly, is a ticket to the next level of intimacy with a woman,” promises Les Parrott, Ph.D., the author of Love Talk. In other words, say the right thing and your relationship will be richer, fuller, and more naked than ever. And that’s worth talking about.

The STD Talk

She asks: “How many women have you slept with?”

You answer: “Thirty-six.”

Why that’s a mistake: Uh, hello, McFly, she wasn’t really asking how many women you’ve slept with. She was asking if you’ve ever been tested for sexually transmitted diseases. But now that you’ve answered truthfully, she’ll be sure to hold it against you.

What to say instead: “I’m not really into keeping score, but if you’re worried about STDs, I was tested last month”—or whatever the reality is—”and if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll see my doctor next week.” Then go. The more proactive you are, the more comfortable she’ll be and the better the sex will be. “The only way you’re going to enjoy sex is if you get this talk out of the way,” says Logan Levkoff, a sexologist and the author of Third Base Ain’t What It Used to Be.

The Birth-Control Talk

She asks: “Did you bring a condom?”

You answer: “Why don’t you go on the Pill?”

Why that’s a mistake: You think you’re being honest and direct. She thinks you’re being selfish, and isn’t that just typical. Anger ensues. Sex doesn’t.

What to say instead: “Do you like how sex feels when I’m wearing a condom?” You do have a shot, because most women prefer sex au naturel, too. Take her answer as a jumping-off point to share your preferences. She’s not likely to say, “What a great idea. I’ll see my gynecologist tomorrow.” So be willing to shelve this discussion for a few months—and to try various types of condoms—while she determines whether you’re Pillworthy.

The Where’s-This-Going? Talk

She asks: “Where’s this going?”

You answer: “Back off, man trap.”

Why that’s a mistake: You think she’s asking why you haven’t proposed. But she’s just wondering if you see her in your short-or long-term future. You feel cornered and storm out. She shatters a vase on the wall.

What to say instead: “Can we talk about this on Saturday?” You need to think about where the relationship actually is going. On Saturday, put all your thoughts and concerns on the table, says Janet Surrey, Ph.D., coauthor of We Have to Talk. Don’t worry about having all answers. She just wants you to think about the question. The one exception: If you don’t want the relationship to go farther, say so. She’s prepared for the worst, so she’ll take the news pretty well.

The Sexual-Desire Talk

She says: “Let’s just snuggle tonight.”

You answer: “Why don’t you ever want to have sex with me?”

Why that’s a mistake: Guilt isn’t hot. Neither is selfishness. “Don’t make it seem like you’re only interested in getting what you want, even if you are,” says Surrey. If you become frustrated, she’ll become frosty.

What to say instead: “How would you like a massage?” She’ll know what your motive is, but since you’re putting her pleasure first, she’s more apt to overlook it. If she still wants only to sleep in your arms, let her. Then initiate sex in the a.m. Her testosterone spikes in the morning, and cuddling increases oxytocin, a hormone that makes her feel more amorous.

The Money Talk

She asks: “Do you like my new shoes?”

You answer: “You really need more shoes?”

Why that’s a mistake: No, she didn’t need another pair of shoes, just like you didn’t need an iPhone. But she’s modeling them for you now, so get over it.

What to say instead: “They look great on you.” Then gently remind her about that trip you’re both saving for. “What leads to fighting is not being clear about financial goals,” says Sharon Epperson, author of The Big Payoff. If you haven’t agreed on what you’re saving for yet, take this as a sign you should start. Go over your budget at the start of every month, suggests Epperson. Along with long-term goals, it needs room for pleasure purchases like shoes and iStuff.

The Room-to-Breathe Talk

She says: “I need some space.”

You answer: “Have a nice life.”

Why that’s a mistake: When a woman asks for space, she’s not dumping you. She just wants a few days to herself. Or . . . she’s testing you to see how invested you are in the relationship. If you bolt, you fail.

What to say instead: “Take as much space as you need.” Chances are she’ll clear her head, miss you, and end up calling within a week. During that time, put your thoughts about the relationship—the good and bad, and where you see it going—in a letter. “Writing it will allow you to gather your thoughts and convey to her how you truly feel,” says Surrey. Send the letter. She may not come running back to you, but at least you’ll have started the conversation.

Source: Men’s Health

Stoner is just one of many researchers working to bring new weapons to the cancer battle. Some study humans to take a fresh look at existing theories. Others, like Stoner, are testing tactics so bold that, so far, their only subjects have tails and whiskers.

But all these approaches (seaweed included) have one very positive thing in common: They’re just plain good for you and bad for cancer cells. Here are eight strategies that just may turn the Big C into the Big See-Ya-Later. (Or, better yet, See-Ya-Never.)

Drink Pomegranate Juice

Some say this luscious, lusty red fruit is Eve’s original apple, but what the pomegranate truly banishes is cancer risk. The fruit’s deep red juice contains polyphenols, isoflavones, and ellagic acid, elements researchers believe make up a potent anticancer combo. It’s been shown to delay the growth of prostate cancer in mice, and it stabilizes PSA levels in men who’ve been treated for prostate cancer.

And now University of Wisconsin at Madison researchers have learned that pomegranate may also inhibit lung-cancer growth. If you currently smoke, have smoked in the past, or hang around in smoky places (Cleveland, for instance), the juice of the fruit could bolster your defenses.

Use it: The mice in the Wisconsin study received the human equivalent of 16 ounces of juice per day, so quaff accordingly.

Eat Blueberries

Got pterostilbene? Rutgers University researchers say this compound—found in blueberries—has colon cancer-fighting properties. When rats with colon cancer were fed a diet supplemented with pterostilbene, they had 57 percent fewer precancerous lesions after 8 weeks than rats not given the compound did.

Eat blueberries and you’ll also benefit from a big dose of vitamin C (14 milligrams per cup). In a study of 42,340 men, New England Research Institute scientists discovered that men with the highest dietary vitamin C intake (as opposed to supplements) were 50 percent less likely to develop premalignant oral lesions than men with the lowest intake were.

Use it: “About two servings daily is the human equivalent of what we fed the rats,” says Bandaru Reddy, M.D., Ph.D., a chemical-biology professor at Rutgers. Load up at breakfast: A cup and a half of blueberries over cereal, plus 8 ounces of juice and half a grapefruit (for extra vitamin C), will do the trick. If that’s too much to stomach at dawn, spread it out over the course of the day.

Relax a Little

Anxiety won’t only make you soil your shorts. Purdue University researchers tracked 1,600 men over 12 years and found that half of those with increasing levels of worry died during the study period. Talk about flunking the exam. Only 20 percent of the optimists died before the 12-year study was completed.

More anxiety-producing news: Thirty-four percent of the neurotic men died of some type of cancer. How neurotic are we talking? “Think of the biggest worrier you know—someone who stresses out over everything,” says psychologist Daniel Mroczek, Ph.D., who conducted the study. “That man is probably above the 95th percentile in neuroticism. Then think of the most cool, calm, collected man you know. He’s probably below the fifth percentile.”

Use it: To develop that critical, casual Jeff Spicoli vibe, learn to slow down your fast times: “The more time you spend in the present moment, the more relaxed you’ll be, because most mental anguish occurs over stuff that’s already happened or that may or may not happen in the future,” says Claire Wheeler, M.D., Ph.D., the author of 10 Simple Solutions to Stress. “For the most part, right now is pretty damn good. If you practice being present while shaving, for example, eventually you’ll also be more present when eating, making love, and working.”

Pop Selenium

Selenium has long been thought of as a cancer fighter, but you can have too much of a good thing, says David J. Waters, Ph.D., D.V.M., director of the Gerald P. Murphy Cancer Foundation, in West Lafayette, Indiana.

A study of almost 1,000 men, published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, found that when those with the lowest initial levels of selenium in their bodies received a daily supplement over a 4 1/2- year period, they cut their prostate-cancer risk by an impressive 92 percent. But men who started out with high selenium were rewarded with an 88 percent increase in total cancer risk when they took the supplements. Moral: It pays to get your selenium level right.

Use it: Selenium in the body is measured through toenail clippings. Send yours to the Murphy Foundation, and for less than $100 (price varies by state), they’ll ship them to a lab and then inform you of your level 2 weeks later. If yours is out of range, the foundation will explain how to adjust your intake of Brazil nuts, tuna, meats, grains, and selenium supplements. Learn more at seleniumhealthtest.com.

Order Sushi

As mentioned, Gary Stoner is using seaweed to fight the Big C. When he fed the polyphenols from brown seaweed to mice that had been bombarded with UV rays, their incidence of skin tumors dropped 60 percent. And the polyphenols shrank existing tumors by 43 percent. Better still, the doses that produced these effects were the equivalent of only 1 or 2 tablespoons in a human being.

“Seaweed is low in calories and fat, yet it provides heart-helping fiber, bone-building calcium, and iron,” says nutrition consultant Molly Morgan, R.D., C.D.N., owner of Creative Nutrition Solutions, in Vestal, New York. “Dried, roasted seaweed sheets used in making sushi also provide vitamins A and C.”

Use it: “Eat more sushi rolls,” says Stoner. “It’s not quite the same seaweed, but it has some of the same compounds.” As a bonus, sushi itself is a great muscle food. A typical spicy tuna roll has only 290 calories but packs 24 grams of protein. Also, look for a Korean-made, seaweed-fortified drink called EntroPower (entropower.com), which should be hitting U.S. health-food stores soon.

Spend More Time Outside

Scientists have viewed vitamin D as a potent cancer fighter for decades, but there’s never been a gold-standard trial—until now. A Creighton University study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that women who supplemented their diets with 1,000 international units of vitamin D every day had a 60 percent to 77 percent lower incidence of cancer over a 4-year period than did women taking a placebo.

“I don’t think the effect is limited to women,” says Joan Lappe, Ph.D., the lead study author. “Vitamin D is necessary for the best functioning of the immune system—it causes early death of cancer cells.”

Use it: Nature intended us to make vitamin D from the sun, but depending on where you live, the time of year, and how much of an agoraphobe you are, you may not reach the optimal level of 80 nanomoles per liter of blood that way. A blood test can give you a baseline.

From there, Lappe recommends supplementing with 1,100 to 2,000 IU of vitamin D in a stand-alone pill every day. Vitamin D is also in sardines, salmon, shiitake mushrooms, and reindeer meat—which may explain Santa’s longevity, despite the odd hours and jelly belly.

Clear Your Air

Secondhand smoke may be even worse for you than we thought. A recent American Journal of Public Health study reveals that nonsmokers working in smoky places had three times the amount of NNK, a carcinogen, in their urine than nonsmoking workers in smoke-free joints had. And their levels of NNK rose 6 percent for every hour worked.

“There is no safe level of exposure to secondhand smoke, and the greater the exposure, the higher the risk,” says the study’s lead author, Michael Stark, Ph.D., principal investigator for the Multnomah County Health Department, in Portland, Oregon.

Use it: Nine states have banned smoking in all workplaces, bars, and restaurants: Arizona, Delaware, Hawaii, Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Ohio, Rhode Island, and Washington. So change locations, change professions, or change the laws. As you sip your pomegranate juice, sign up with Americans for Nonsmokers’ Rights at no-smoke.org.

Invest a Little Sweat Equity

Study after study has pointed to the cancer-beating power of exercise. Now research from Norway has found that even a tiny dose of exercise has big benefits. A study of 29,110 men published last year in the International Journal of Cancer shows that men who exercised just once a week had a 30 percent lower risk of metastatic prostate cancer than did men who didn’t work out at all. Increasing the frequency, duration, and intensity of the exercise correlated with a further, gradual reduction in risk.

Use it: Just one bout of weekend warriorism—a company softball game, pickup basketball, racquetball with your crusty uncle—might qualify you for inclusion in the cancer-free 30 percent.

Source: Men’s Health

Establish a Routine

The stressor: All eyes are on you at a critical moment in the game (or the presentation, or the ceremony).

Beat that stress: When you establish a routine, the difficult becomes routine. Chauncey Billups, a Detroit Pistons point guard, describes his formula for nailing two free throws to tie a game in the fourth quarter: “I know it’s a big shot, but I don’t even think about the moment. If I put more pressure on it, then it becomes a mental thing. I treat it the same as a free throw in the first quarter by doing the same routine every single time. I focus on the rim. I take four dribbles, spin the ball, and get up under it. My routine puts me into a calm state. It’s just me and the rim.”

Ask Yourself Questions

The stressor: You’ve seen your friends’ marriages, and worry that you’ll end up with the wrong person.

Beat that stress: Ask yourself a few essential questions. Are you attracted to her? Do you play well together? Is she unselfish? Does she treat people well and talk positively about past relationships? Does she recognize her family’s shortcomings and take corrective steps? Is she respectful of you? Does she share the soap in the shower? If you have a string of positive answers, you have a fun, responsible, thoughtful person at your side, says John Van Epp, Ph.D., a clinical counselor based in Medina, Ohio, and the author of How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk. That probably qualifies her as a keeper.

Call a Time Out

The stressor: Your boss is hassling you, and you’re about to explode.

Beat that stress: Call a time out. If you’re in the thick of battle, go wash your hands. Removing yourself provides the chance to think and not say the wrong thing. While you’re gone, let yourself be upset. “Anger and agitation tend to be short-lived when you let them play out internally,” says Melissa Blacker, a director of professional training at the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts medical school. When you’re calm, go to your boss and say, “What can I do to help work this out?” He’s probably braced for a fight, so he’s bound to welcome the collaborative tone. At the very least, you’ve expressed yourself. Letting your anger fester increases the chance you’ll overreact.

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

The stressor: Your dad died and you don’t know what to do.

Beat that stress: For 2 days every week, schedule 10 minutes to grieve. Unless you plan, it’s too easy to dodge the sadness—especially in the first couple of months after the funeral. And taking control of the process prevents unresolved issues from lingering. Shoot for early evening, when anything kicked up won’t affect your sleep. Take a 5-minute walk to unwind, then pull out photos to bring the departed front and center. Now ask two questions: What have you lost? What’s the effect? You see what’s missing from your life, so you can shift to problem solving, says Michael McKee, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. Now hit the gym. It’ll end the grieving session, and the endorphins will lift your mood. Overall, doing the two activities will model what you’re striving for—the knowledge that sad and happy can coexist.

Make a Grateful List

The stressor: Your to-do list at work reads like a phone book, except it’s less interesting.

Beat that stress: Add 10 more entries. Here’s how actor Craig Bierko, most recently of Boston Legal fame, keeps his lid from flipping. “First, I keep in mind that on-the-job stress is an indication that I’m doing well. I could certainly experience far less stress lying around all day watching Ellen reruns. Then I practice something called ‘the grateful flow.’ It’s far cheaper than Prozac. I list ten things for which I’m grateful. Remind yourself of the friend who’s always been there, the fact that you can afford your next meal. And include your job. Sure, it’s the reason you’re making the list in the first place. But where would you be without it?”

Focus on the Now

The stressor: Your team’s success (or failure) is hanging on your performance in the ultimate contest.

Beat that stress: Focus on the now as well as the later. Martin Brodeur, star goalie for the New Jersey Devils, uses these techniques when he faces game 7 in the playoffs: “When it becomes stressful, I overbreathe. That opens up everything and makes me aware of the situation I’m in. I also make sure my feet are together as much as possible and that they’re really under me. With my feet together, I’m compact. It’s less tiring, and I’m lighter on my skates. As for when I’m not on the ice? Before game 7 of the 2003 Stanley Cup finals I booked a vacation online. It took me out of the anxiety of facing a game 7.” (The Devils won that game, 3-0.)

Be Meticulous When You Prep

The stressor: You’re due at Grandma’s, the storm is roaring, and you need to pilot the clan safely.

Beat that stress: Be meticulous in your preflight prep. That’s what Rob Kinkade, a bush pilot, does before taking off for what he calls a “rodeo day” in the bucking bronco of Alaska’s airspace. “If I know it’ll be rough out there, I’ll meticulously check everything two or three times—the flight plans, my fuel, the wings. It gives me peace of mind. If I take care of the downside first, the upside will take care of itself. If it’s rough and I see people worrying, I’ll sing or make a joke or grab the stick with one hand and drink a soda with the other, to show that it’s not affecting me, even if it is. I’m lightening my mood, and it’s kind of contagious.”

Ask About Her Best Friend

The stressor: You’re an hour into the first date and it’s going nowhere.

Beat that stress: Ask her what she likes about her best friend. Relationships are sources of pride and endless fascination for women. By delving into her life, you’re trying to understand her, and everyone loves being understood. “It defuses a lot of the tension,” says Ann Demarais, Ph.D., a psychologist and coauthor of First Impressions: What You Don’t Know about How Others See You.

Take Your Kid on a Long Car Ride

The stressor: Your kid’s stressing but won’t tell you what it’s about.

Beat that stress: Take him on a long car ride. It’s private, and there’s little else to do but talk. Start out casually, and eventually bring up the struggles you faced at his age. He’ll either identify or tell you that it’s completely different now. Either way, the opening is there to gently find out which of three areas—school, friends, or family—isn’t working. “You’re getting new information and can take it to where the problem belongs,” says Irene Goldenberg, Ed.D., a family psychologist based in Los Angeles.

Go Into Training

The stressor: You have to make your case or lose the day.

Beat that stress: Before the straining, go into training. Steven D. Benjamin, a criminal-defense attorney in Richmond, Virginia, believes that discipline always carries the day. “Before the trial starts, everything in my life becomes more regimented. I don’t drink or go out, and I become more obsessive than usual about my workout. A trial is an endurance event, and training for it makes me much more alert. I also take care of my team members. I can’t see everything at trial. They’re my auxiliary hard drive, and they give me peace of mind.”

Play Video Games

The stressor: Your kid is really into playing a violent video game.

Beat that stress: Observe, or play it with him. Encroaching on his territory removes some of the rebellious fun, but you’ll also learn his perspective, says Jeff Bostic, M.D., a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital. Make no comments during the game, and at the end, say, “What did you enjoy most about it? That was a little weird for me to be gunning down all those cops.” You might find out that he clearly distinguishes fantasy from reality and that his bloody game is just a bloody game.

Own Up to a Mistake

The stressor: Your name is all over a mistake and you have to tell the boss.

Beat that stress: As soon as possible, go to the boss and own up, but immediately follow that with what you’ve learned and (the most important factor) how things will be different. It won’t guarantee a full pardon, but you won’t have to stew over the unknown. “You will have made a problem less bad, and that’s the goal of damage control,” says Eric Dezenhall, the author of Damage Control: Why Everything You Know about Crisis Management Is Wrong.

Soften the Blow

The stressor: You have to give some tough criticism to an employee.

Beat that stress: Deliver the bad with an ample dose of the good. Saying nothing when things are acceptable does not count, says Albert Bernstein, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of Emotional Vampires. Keep track in your head. Your kind-to-unkind ratio has to be 4:1 to ensure that respect is built up and communication lines stay open. After that, structure the bad news like, “When you’re late, I feel like you’re not fully committed. Was that your intention?” You’re making your point, but by giving him the benefit of the doubt, you’re avoiding arguments that go quickly and resentfully to nowhere.

Focus on the Success in Failure

The stressor: Your kid’s soccer team is down 8-0 and your kid is the goalie.

Beat that stress: Focus on the success inherent in failure. Release tension by yelling encouraging stuff; you’re concentrating positive energy on other people and helping the little version of yourself dying in front of the net. In the car after the game, tell him how proud you were of his bravery/composure/intensity and that you weren’t disappointed in him. Share a quick story about how you once ate it. You want him to see that coming up short isn’t the ultimate indignity. “Those who don’t know how to fail are those who don’t take chances,” Dr. Bostic says.

Repeat Yourself

The stressor: It’s review time and you know that you deserve more money.

Beat that stress: Repeat yourself. You think your value is obvious. Your boss has other distractions, so go in armed with bullet points of your achievements. But don’t just say them once. “One plus one equals two, but so does four minus two,” says Gregg Clifton, the chief operating officer of Gaylord Sports Management. Find different ways to support the same point. Lead with, “I increased sales 12 percent.” Later, say, “About that 12 percent, it was 43 percent over the industry average—it was the best the department has ever seen—expenses didn’t rise at all.” Hammering it from different angles will register with the man signing your soon-to-be-larger check.

Confine Your Ex to Paper

The stressor: You want to start dating again, but you still can’t forget the ex.

Beat that stress: Confine her to paper. Make a list of all the things you’re going to miss. Making a hard copy creates new connections in your brain, and, with that, new ways to consider your situation, says Peter Pearson, Ph.D., codirector of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. Look at the list and ask yourself if she has a monopoly on those qualities. If your answer is no, you can conceive of a future with someone else. You’ll have a kind of emotional replacement to-do list, and there’s nothing like a to-do list to turbocharge your psyche.

Go Over Critical Steps

The stressor: You need to handle all the details of a complex operation just so or disaster will ensue.

Beat that stress: In the moment before you begin, take a mental inventory of the critical steps to success. Here’s how Ali Rezai, M.D., a neurosurgeon at the Cleveland Clinic, preps for the first cut. “While I’m scrubbing my hands, I’m reviewing all the aspects of the case. That puts me into a highly focused state and cleans my mind of distractions. During surgery, I’m constantly reviewing the steps with the operating-room staff. It takes everyone onto the next page and into a rhythm. When I’m faced with an emergency, the calmer I am, the calmer everyone else becomes.”

Smile, Nod, and Ask Questions

The stressor: You’re meeting her family or friends for the first time.

Beat that stress: Channel Matt Lauer and be your charming, head-nodding, inquisitive best. Asking them questions takes the focus off you, and their judgment will be that you’re concerned with and interested in others. Drop in a well-placed, “I love how she always wants to learn something new,” to show that you understand and admire your new girlfriend—and to nail opening night, says the psychologist Ann Demarais. Bonus tip: When they ask you a question, focus on how it’s asked—bluntly or anecdotally—and respond the same way. Rick Brinkman, author of Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, says that matching question style and answer style gives you the best chance of being heard.

Don’t Try to Be Perfect

The stressor: Success is at hand, if you can just close the deal.

Beat that stress: Don’t try to be perfect. Just play your role and rely on others who are focused on the same goal. Joe Nathan, a Minnesota Twins reliever, has one of the most high-stress jobs in sports: closer. Here’s his mental process, leading up to the last three outs: “Around the seventh inning, I go through some visualization—seeing myself on the mound, making certain pitches. It puts me in a relaxed state and allows me to focus on something I need to do rather than watching somebody else. When I’m on the mound, I try not to overthink the situation. It’s about being aggressive, pounding the strike zone, and trusting my defense. It takes the heat off. I don’t have to be perfect, so I can relax and throw a better pitch.”

Source: Men’s Health

Okay, hands down. Work stress rips us apart. It sabotages us. Inspires stupid comments snapped at people just as stupid. Makes us a Monday-through-Friday phosphorous burn.

Enough already. Tomorrow, and every day thereafter, remember these tips for controlling the weight on your shoulders. Because if you think your job isn’t your life, you’re dead wrong.

Dump the Coffee

We know, coffee is in your blood—and that’s the problem. Caffeine is liquid stress, simultaneously boosting adrenaline production and suppressing adenosine, a natural relaxant in your brain. “Eliminating caffeine is more effective than any other stress-reduction strategy I know,” says David B. Posen, M.D., a stress expert and author of Always Change a Losing Game. In fact, Dr. Posen claims that 75 percent of his decaffeinated patients feel significantly more relaxed and, ironically, more energetic—mostly from better sleep.

To avoid withdrawal headaches, Dr. Posen suggests gradually cutting back by one cup at a time, beginning with your last cup of the day.

Say the “O” Word

Ask David Allen, author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, what’s the biggest office stress buster, and his answer is immediate: organization. “It’s what’s most needed and most lacking.” Even a very basic organizational habit can cumulatively save you hours in a work week. And, of course, more time means less stress. Allen’s most valuable habit? “My end-of-week review. I go over my inbox and my work lists. By far, it’s my best-spent time.” Thanks to that one wise Friday hour, he’s never frazzled or overwhelmed when the whistle blows on Monday morning.

Spy on Yourself

Hunched over a keyboard with knots in your shoulders? Yeah, and you probably didn’t realize it until you stopped to think about it. But who has time to stop when everybody around you is shouting, “Go, go, go!” like the Laker Girls from hell? West Virginia University researchers found that people’s stress levels dropped by 54 percent after a 2-month “mindfulness training” program—that is, simply paying more attention to the symptoms of stress, such as bunched-up muscles and fast, scattered thinking.

The good news: You don’t need a 2-month course. “Even minor adjustments can produce big benefits,” says Kimberly Williams, Ph.D., author of the study. This means paying attention if your thoughts begin to race or your breathing becomes shallow. And when you notice knots in your shoulders, you can . . .

Do the PC Stretch

With all due deference to Bill Gates, this is for everyone shackled to a friggin’ computer. “When we’re under stress, we usually lean forward to focus on what we’re doing,” says Neil Chasan, a physical therapist in Seattle. “This makes the muscles of the neck and lower back work harder—and they’re small to begin with.”

For quick relief, do what Chasan does when he’s deskbound: Clasp your hands behind your neck and squeeze your shoulder blades together. Now let your head fall forward so your chin is close to your chest, and bring your elbows together in front of you so they’re touching. Pull down with your hands for several seconds, then release. Repeat six to eight times whenever you’re knotted up.

Buy a New Multivitamin

Tomorrow, revise your morning routine to include your antistress pill. In a University of Birmingham study of men 18 to 42 years old, British researchers found that those who took a daily multivitamin high in vitamin C and all the B vitamins enjoyed a 21 percent drop in anxiety, while those popping a placebo actually felt more stressed. (Perhaps from feeling deceived.) Even better, the multi men also rated themselves less tired and more focused. The probable cause: Research has shown that B and C vitamins help reduce the effects of stress. If you want to try the multivitamin used in the study—Berocca—go to drugstore.com. Ninety pills will run you $40.

Throw Up Your Hands

And start juggling. “Juggling gets me out of my chair,” says Dr. Posen, admitting that his limited skills are actually helpful. “It’s hard to juggle without laughing at yourself.” Plus, it’s nearly impossible to think about work when you’re concentrating on juggling. And that’s the point: Regularly schedule 5 minutes of laughing distraction. Pick up Juggling for the Complete Klutz, beanbags included (about $10 on Amazon).

Source: Men’s Health

As much as that sounds like paradise, Dr. Jones says a more precise urological/geographical parallel would be your penis as peninsula—a bodily extension that shares a supply of blood, oxygen, and nutrients with all your other organs. Unfortunately, that means if a natural disaster strikes the mainland, it’s likely to affect any protruding landmasses, too.

“ED stands not only for erectile dysfunction but also for ‘early diagnosis,’ because you can use ED to predict a heart attack, potentially by years—arterial damage from cardiovascular disease affects the small arteries in the penis first,” says Christopher Steidle, M.D., a clinical associate professor of urology at the Indiana University medical center at Fort Wayne. That’s one reason it’s a mistake to let Levitra, Viagra, and Cialis lull you into an I’ll-fix-it-when-it-breaks mindset.

Here’s another: Take steps to safeguard your sex life now and you may never need to pop the little blue pill. Or any other shade of erection aid. In other words, follow our advice and every woman who visits your peninsula will leave with a smile.

Eat Blackberry Jam on Your Toast

Dark fruits like blackberries, bilberries, and elderberries contain high levels of anthocyanins, ultrapowerful antioxidants that could act as erection insurance.

Quick science lesson: Your penis’s ability to rise and shine depends, in part, on the availability of nitric oxide, a blood-vessel-dilating chemical. When too many free radicals are present in your bloodstream, nitric oxide goes down-and so does your penis. Enter anthocyanins. These potent antioxidants attack free radicals before they have the chance to lower nitric oxide levels.

Here’s proof of their power: Indiana University researchers found that arteries treated with anthocyanins retained high levels of nitric oxide even after being flooded with free radicals. “Antioxidants help keep free radicals under control so nitric oxide can do its thing,” says David Bell, Ph.D., the lead study author. And that “thing” is giving your penis the blood it needs to turn excitement into an erection.

Shut Down the Smokestack

If you still light up, you’ve probably accepted your increased risk of heart disease, stroke, lung cancer, and bladder cancer. But how about dying young and impotent? A study published in the Journal of Urology found that smoking causes arterial damage that doubles a man’s risk of total erectile dysfunction. The good news: “If men quit in their 50s or earlier, we can usually reverse the damage,” says Andre Guay, M.D., director of the Lahey Clinic for Sexual Function, in Massachusetts.

When Dr. Guay measured nighttime erections in 10 impotent smokers (average age 49), he noted a 40 percent improvement after just 1 smoke-free day. Swap the cancer sticks for fish sticks: Researchers at the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland discovered that taurine, an amino acid found in fish, helps heal smoke-damaged arteries.

Become a More Sensitive Guy

Everyone knows stress is a psychological cold shower. But untamed tension also works in a more insidious way—by releasing epinephrine, a type of adrenaline that goes straight to your arteries and slowly wreaks havoc there. “Stress in the long term can contribute to hardening of the arteries,” says Dr. Jones, who is author of Overcoming Impotence: A Leading Urologist Tells You Everything You Need to Know.

In a great medical irony, being hard in the arteries can leave you soft in the shorts. The fix: Force yourself to concentrate on each of your five senses for a few minutes every day—the feel of the steering wheel in your hands, the sound of the engine revving to redline, the sight of the hot brunette in the next car . . .

“Obsessing on stressful thoughts will increase your epinephrine,” says Jay Winner, M.D., author of Stress Management Made Simple. “On the other hand, if you focus on current sensations, it decreases the epinephrine and ultimately improves your ability to have an erection.”

Stop Sawing Wood

Snoring can sabotage a night of sex, and not just because it’s difficult to engage in foreplay from the couch. “All of your tissue needs oxygen to be healthy, and the penile tissue is especially sensitive,” says Dr. Jones. “When you snore, you’re depriving your tissue of that oxygen.”

That said, don’t waste your money on OTC snore stoppers; research by the U.S. Air Force shows that these products aren’t effective. Instead, try placing bricks under the bedposts at the head of the bed. “Snoring has a lot to do with gravity,” says Phillip Westerbrook, M.D., founder of the sleep-disorders center at the Mayo Clinic. “If you elevate the torso without bending the neck, it changes the effect of gravity on the soft tissues of the throat.”

Eat a Dark-Chocolate Dove Bar

It’s erection medicine. Dark chocolate contains epicatechins, flavonoids that trigger the release of dilating chemicals in the inner, or endothelial, layer of the arteries. How much should you munch? A University of California at San Francisco study shows that those who ate a 1.6-ounce dark-chocolate bar each day increased their blood-vessel dilation by more than 10 percent.

While the study wasn’t done specifically on erectile tissues, anything that benefits your body’s endothelial system will likely benefit your erections, since the penis is made up largely of endothelial surfaces. “Keeping those surfaces healthy is crucial to good arterial flow,” says Kevin McVary, M.D., a professor of urology at Northwestern University. Look for dark chocolate that bears the CocoaPro logo on the label—this symbol is a visible sign that the candy bar you’re buying is chock-full of flavonoids.

Lower Your Estrogen

Calculate your body-mass index. If your BMI comes in close to or over 25, you may be carrying just enough lard to drag down your erections. “We know that heavier men convert testosterone to estrogen, and that a lower level of testosterone and a higher level of estrogen are not good for erectile function,” says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., a Men’s Health advisor and chief of male reproductive medicine and surgery at Baylor college of medicine.

Fortunately, even moderate weight loss can rid you of excess estrogen and put your sex life back on track. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that one-third of clinically obese men—BMI 30 or higher—with erectile dysfunction showed improvement after losing 10 percent of their body weight.

Get Pricked

If you think the problem is that you, well, think too much, see an acupuncturist. The results of a study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research suggest that acupuncture can help treat psychologically induced erectile dysfunction. (Relax—the prick points are all in your back.)

“In psychogenic erectile dysfunction, the patient has trouble with the balance of his sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems,” says Paul Engelhardt, M.D., the study author. “Traditional Chinese medicine tries to restore that balance.” Sure, it sounds like using feng shui for your underwear drawer, but it works—64 percent of the men who underwent 6 weeks of acupuncture regained sexual function and needed no further treatment.

Build a Stronger Floor

Go figure—one of the best ways to treat erectile dysfunction is to pretend that you suffer from premature ejaculation. British researchers discovered that the traditional treatment for a hair trigger—strengthening the pelvic-floor muscles—is also a remedy for men who can’t point their pistols. In the study of 55 impotent men, 40 percent of those who practiced pelvic-floor exercises, a.k.a. Kegels, every day for 6 months regained normal sexual function.

Apparently, the same muscle contraction that’s used to stop peeing midstream can also prevent blood from escaping during an erection. “Unless they have severe back pain, all men with ED can perform pelvic-floor exercises,” says Grace Dorey, Ph.D., the study author. Here’s the workout plan: Contract and relax your pelvic muscles anytime you’re sitting, although you can also do them lying down. Work up to doing 18 contractions daily, holding each one for 10 seconds.

Open Your Medicine Cabinet

And make a list of all the prescription pills you’re popping. “A lot of prescription drugs may be associated with sexual dysfunction,” says R. Taylor Segraves, M.D., Ph.D., coauthor of Sexual Pharmacology. One possible culprit is the cholesterol-lowering drug simvastatin, brand name Zocor. For a full list of erection offenders, visit MensHealth.com/drug. If you’re taking one of them, talk to your doctor. Often a similar pill, sans side effects, is on the market.

Still Not Able to Defy Gravity?

At this point, it makes sense to consider taking Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra to stimulate bloodflow to the penis, says Dr. Steidle. And who knows what miracles might happen once you prime the pump a few times? “What a lot of men find is that once they restart these medications, they may not need them for every episode of sexual activity—they may need them only now and then,” he says.

Similarly, if you suffer from performance anxiety, a drug-fueled romp or two may be just what the urologist ordered to restore confidence. And while all three erection medications have the power to prevent you from psyching yourself out in the sack, Cialis’s ability to work for up to 36 hours may provide an advantage, says Julian Slowinski, Psy.D., an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania school of medicine. “This gives a man and his partner a lot of time over the weekend to be more spontaneous.”

Source: Men’s Health

There are hundreds of reasons. But Men’s Health surveyed 1,000 women and combed through the latest research to narrow down the list to the ones you see on the left.

You’ll find most of the constraints of modern society—time demands, distractions, stress, energy levels.

Recognize any from your life? Click on them and find out how you and your partner can overcome those obstacles—and get back to having more fun!

Endless Bickering

Fighting over serious issues is normal, but bickering can cramp your sex life, says Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D., author of Great Sex for Moms. Unless compromise is easy, “it’s often better to put minor disputes aside,” she says. “You shouldn’t talk over everything endlessly.” In our survey, the most trivial quarrels were about the house. Avoid them by playing to each other’s strengths. Then divvy up the decisions accordingly.

A Houseful of Kids

If tantrums and diapers are polluting your passion, ditch the kids (for a night). “It’s all about creating opportunity,” Dr. Raskin says. “Spontaneity is enviable, but planned sex can be great, too.” Particularly if you’re not getting enough. You know that couple next door? They’re probably in a similar situation, so propose a kid swap. You take theirs on Friday, they take yours on Saturday. If the neighbors are freaks, go home when the kids aren’t: lunchtime. Nearly 40 percent of women would be willing to get busy at noon.

Late-Night TV

Here’s a disturbing set of statistics: Italian researchers found that people with a TV in the bedroom have half as much sex as those who don’t. And yet, 64 percent of couples keep a set in the boudoir. Try getting rid of it. John Stewart won’t mind.

“Getting it on is about putting the brain and body in a passionate state—TV does the opposite,” says Heidi Raykeil, author of Confessions of a Naughty Mommy. Can’t quit? Buy a DVR and watch your favorite shows on weekends.

Conflicting Schedules

Sixty-hour workweeks plus social plans can leave her too tired to tangle. But pumping up the passion at the beginning of your week sets the tone for days to come. If you’re both schedule-driven types, start inserting gym time into your Outlook calendar.

Go to the gym together on Monday or Tuesday: Studies show both sexes experience a surge of libido-boosting testosterone 30 minutes after a workout. Shower and then hit the bedroom. “It’ll zap stress and the sexual momentum will last through the weekend,” says Michael Breus, Ph.D., author of Good Night.

Or start reserving a tennis or racquetball court. Men who play sports increase testosterone levels by 15 percent, according to a Pennsylvania State University study. It’s even better if she is your steady doubles partner (or opponent). The same study showed that women increased their libido-regulating testosterone by 49 percent during competition.

An Extra Slice of Pie

Romantic dinners are nice. But hoovering down that romantic dinner can backfire. Share an entrée to eat less and spark a passionate interaction, says Bunny Crumpacker, author of The Sex Life of Food.

“Choosing a meal together and sharing the dish can boost your sense of cooperation,” she says. Your best bet: Whip up a dish at home—66 percent of the women we surveyed said they’d be more likely to have sex after a home-cooked meal.

Job Stress

This one cuts both ways. Too much stress can be as deflating to a sex life as a litter of puppies in the bedroom. If that’s the case, there’s little you can do at home to fix matters—the change has to come at work. If your work is hindering your sex life, it’s probably affecting your health, too. So have that talk with your boss to clear the air, change your duties, and see if you can free up some hours and some brain space that will revive your love life.

But ironically, a stressful job (or even a dangerous one) involving some level of competition, as in law or sales, can actually improve it. “Real competition can drive up testosterone, which boosts libido,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love.

“Being amped up by a high-powered, high-stress job is more likely to make you more sexually active” than idling in a cushy, low-key career.

Boredom in Bed

A Kinsey Institute study found that nearly one-quarter of women reported some distress in their sexual relationships in the preceding month. One of the most common causes of dissatisfaction: boredom.

“The common denominator of satisfied couples is that they’re very playful,” says sex therapist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex. “My definition of sex is adult play. It should be fun and recreational. You should laugh and release all those pleasure endorphins. A sense of humor is an essential ingredient in great sex because it takes pressure off performance.”

Toys = instant play. Shop together at a toy store (the kids’ kind) for playthings you can bring into the bedroom. Imagine the possibilities with washable paint, masks, water pistols, and toy handcuffs. Or go to babeland.com for the real deal.

Stuck in a Routine

The average man’s sex life stays the same or even improves once he ties the knot. To ensure this outcome, do what good pitchers do—throw changeups into your nightlife at least once a week.

“Novelty is good for sex, and I don’t just mean novel sex. Novelty in your social life,” Fisher says. It can be as simple as skipping dinner to play miniature golf or listening to a live band instead of the car radio.

Anything that makes the start of your evening less predictable can change up the ending, as well.

Her Body Image

The way a woman feels about her body correlates with how inhibited she feels in bed. Sure, complimenting her shoes validates her taste, and saying something about her eyes reinforces her beauty.

But praising her most guarded body parts—butt, thighs, waist—may be more important to your sexual satisfaction. “Women spend their lives trying to look good for men,” Fisher says. “So a woman who feels she’s sending the right visual signals is pleased with herself.”

The surprising part: The very best time for a “nice ass” shout-out is when there’s absolutely no chance that you’ll be having sex soon, like before you walk into her parents’ house for Sunday brunch. “It’s a gift to compliment her outside of the bedroom,” says Fisher. Praising her body at times other than when there’s a bulge in your pants reinforces your sincerity.

Speaking of body image, men, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Maybe that’s part of the problem. A weight-loss and workout program like our Belly Off! system could be just what you (or both of you) need.

Her Wardrobe

A long flannel nightgown is a clear message that she’s not ready for sex. But buying her an uncomfortable lace teddy isn’t going to change her mind—especially if she has body-image issues (see No. 9).

The key here: make her comfortable. Start slowly: Buy her a pair of flannel boxers and a cotton tank top. She feels the comfort; you see some skin.

As for you, maybe it’s time to retire the ripped Megadeth T-shirt. Get some plain dark-colored T’s, switch to boxer briefs, and see what happens. Attention to your own appearance sends a positive signal.

Source: Men’s Health

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